August 31


so still now

in our block nobody is sleeping

 young or old

any blessings left in our dreams

in bed

hand on belly

gap of night light between drawn blinds

no shadows no nausea is it a hunger i feel

maybe in the bath

eyes wide dry decisive

skin my body radiant

how strange

no anger guides me

no grieving

what is it then

no purpose

warm water

two weeks like two lives

life hands severed

so foolish of me going out that morning

so providential

your knowledge determines your life

he opposed of course

life and death

let me see it with my own eyes understand

let me buy groceries

bring home a special treat

only a short walk

a direct look

a soldier with trophy bayonet in the back of a ute

the last time i was out and about

our eyes met

i know this look

it was the first time i felt it

but it is everywhere

 school media books

relatives people talk

told him about the encounter

the truth

i know this look

blood does not stick to their teeth

you had to leave

you are not coming back

never worried about you before

found a way through bacha bazi

a hard way to the state university

two years ago when we met

tomorrow the opening day

we would lead

i know this back-breaking look

i saw it

everybody knows

poor people day and night

children held by elderly and parents

stuck in airport trenches

with official permissions

my teacher said they got turned at the check-in

administrative error

heavy stones crush flesh

what can they do

start a new war

struggle is futile

visa worries







 qargha lake

we took classes in political theory

our study publicised reported

by your own people

it matters no more

it is my decision

i know

one last thing

i don’t know where

maybe red dawn at my balcony

August 31


6:43 Another busy day, maybe months in lockdown ahead

6:44 Fatigued but I’ve got it, I’ve got the means to sustain it. That’s what we’re doing

6:45 Let’s start with a long contrast shower

6:47 Enjoy running water

6:58: Take your time, if you can, otherwise things will start falling apart, again, as they do. Work work, weekends in the suburb, health.. and who’d think family matters can be so pressing! It’s going to be a shitty day in the world, for sure, even if it’s bright; better be prepared for it

7:07 How nice it was to receive that Moroccan mint tea from Tim and Pru yesterday. They’re nice; excited to have a mug of strong Tun.. Moroccan tea, and a wind-down before it starts, read a few tweets

7:21 I’d better have a solo moment in the sun on the patio, before others are out and about

7:35 Christ, what the fuck is going on in the world!! I can’t read and see this no more. Can’t make sense of this

7:36 It’s like that painful hypothetical game in school: would you save x number of humans or x number of street dogs

7:37 One can only wonder how many new cases will be announced today

7:38 Yeah, you look at his face and you see a conservative pig with personal interests causing environmental damage and severe inter-generational injustices. Worst of all: none of them can recognise their own limits

7:39 Why, why would you read a popular paper?

7:40 Why would you trust a man educated in the 70’s in our current situation?

7:42 That show last night... wasn’t bad

7:43 Alright, you’ve got maybe another ten minutes

7.44 Don’t be too concerned! When it gets too much, you know, symptoms, you don’t want to push yourself and others. Focus on work, on a plan. Structure the first few hours, don’t sit too much

7:45 Take it easy, take breaks and short walks

7:55 How am I supposed to manage this on-line with little help? They don’t know what they’re doing

8:00 Offer a counter-strategy; either way it will go your way

8:02 Lucky I don’t have to do groceries today, though driving this electric car is a great experience, I must say. The seats look pretentious

8:03 Go spend fifteen minutes with the family

9:29 Use the opportunity, put a podcast on, go for a walk, or a run. It’s sunny, and not too hot yet. It will feel great

9:30 Most certainly, ruby magnolias are in full bloom in the park

9:39 The dog leash is in the garage

9:41 Shall I take a book, too?

9:58 Forgot to take the book.. well, whatever. Just don’t give into a cup of coffee from 7 Eleven, and any of that chocolate

10:16 You’ve got to enjoy a few minutes on a park bench

10:23 What are the mask rules at the moment for a coffee break during a sports activity? Will they change tomorrow? Don’t want to look at the phone just now. Will risk it

10:49 Once it’s over, I will try fencing

10:53 It’s been a fulfilling career, I’ve sacrificed much for it

10:55 Paralympics are on, incredible. All these people deserve war-calibre medals

10:57 Seriously, what I am doing this for? I have enough to turn this life around, when it’s over

11:02 I fucking thought so

11:03 The crisis in Afghanistan is nerve-wrecking; everybody thinks this way

11:09 Of course, Christina can’t afford her rent now. I’ll think about it and talk to her over the weekend

11:22 What are the Conan show suggestions for lunch? Mila Kunis, Senator Briggs, Obama

11:42 Okay, here is a draft of things I should address in the afternoon. Which are essential?

11:57 All things considered we’re fortunate

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